“And they lived happily ever after. . . .”

A storybook life only happens to fictional characters. In real life, the prince turned out to be a compulsive philanderer, gambler, drug abuser, or garden variety pest.  Real-life women know the story behind the story. Real-life women discriminate between reality and myth in romance novels. But what about another kind of story–the kind on social media that feeds us the myth of a perfect room, if not the perfect lifestyle?

Day after day, we see immaculate, beautifully designed homes where people sleep in streamlined bedrooms and cook in dream kitchens. Here, the bed is always made, the pillows poofed, and the kitchen marble is never stained. The floors aren’t covered with toys. Dogs never track in mud. Gardens never sprout weeds, and flowers never curl up and die.

The perfect setting carries a potent subliminal message–perfection, happiness, and bliss can be yours, too.We never see behind the scenes. And yet, social media stars may live in nightmarish situations. We aren’t privy to their unhappy ever afters.

Anyone who has been on social media for a while knows this stuff. Even so, without meaning to, envy can spring up like a summer thunderstorm. A flash flood of envy can strike women whose talents are overlooked or seldom rewarded. 

It’s only human to notice when someone has something you desire. At some point, you might start keeping score–who got the freebie? Why weren’t you invited to the tablescape hop or home tour?
Soon, envy leads to self-flagellation. You wonder if your recipe for homemade blueberry basil ice cream wasn’t good enough. Maybe you wonder if you are lacking, too.

See how this works? Envy is a gateway to self-doubt, even self-hatred. And anger turned within leads to depression.

Truth is, envy stamps out creativity. It stamps out joy.
Another truth: we may or may not hear about another blogger’s sweat and sprained muscles, not to mention her personal troubles. We can’t see behind the curtain—unless we are invited. Sometimes we see bloggers telling a funny-but-woeful story of how they were creating an al fresco setting in a forest, and they stepped on a rusty nail and had to get a Tetanus shot. Does the story put a dent in the fairy story? 

Maybe. Maybe not.

I hesitate to write about this topic. Even now, my finger is hovering over the “delete” button. But how can I discuss joy if I gloss over the difficult parts of being human?

Today’s Joy Lesson:

Explaining isn’t the point. You don’t have to explain.
Perfection isn’t the point. You don’t have to be perfect.
Envy isn’t the point. You don’t have to feel envious.
The point is how you choose to react.
Envy is a feeling that leads to a thought. And thoughts lead to action, good or destructive.

It’s your choice.